Posts Tagged ‘suicide’

An I For An I

Posted: June 8, 2017 in Makata-kuno
Tags: , , , ,

And the light exits from this room consumed by darkness
Makin’ me blind, yes
And the silence breaks its own existence
Makin’ me deaf, yes

I have never wanted a single raindrop on my face
But now I am trying not to complain that there is no rain

Cigarettes’ butts, bottle caps scattered on the ground
My unwashed jacket that keeps me from cold is nowhere to found
Smoke inside my lungs makes me feel so relieved
Heartbeats still want to tell me there’s still hope, I believe

I want to hear a gossip, perhaps a tale
I want to see someone — like I — is going to fail
I just want someone to tell me “It’s okay”
All I want to do is just to sleep all day

You can call me what you will
A loner, a vagabond
A tormented, a disaster one
Maybe a walking dead, Oh I like that one

But who?

Who has the right to call me miserable?
No one but I
Who is so pious to remind me the dos and don’ts?
The right and wrong?
The good and bad?
Don’t you see, lad?
No one but I

’Cause in this world I am living
There is no family;
There is no buddies;
There is no religion;
There is no faith;
There is no light;
There is no god;
There is no life

No one but I
And I am no sane

Mayhap, I do not appreciate this life
In view of the fact that I have always wanted a life
The unloaded gun on the table always looks dangerous
But with bullets beside it — friendly, it is

I fought
And I lost

And I cannot save I from myself.